How to Discipline Your Child
Who’s running things in your home? You? Or your kids? If you’re not sure – and if you have your moments of doubt and confusion about the “right’ way to discipline your child – you’re not alone! No matter how much you try to prepare for parenting, it’s always a learning process, and that’s especially true when it comes to discipline. Are you too strict, or too soft? Why don’t timeouts work? Is rewarding your kids for good behavior just a form of bribery, and is that ok – and does it work? What about spanking? And how in the world do you get your children to behave in a restaurant? There are a lot of opinions out there about what does and doesn’t work – but the good news is, there are some tried and true solutions too! Join Dr. Winnie King, the experts, and some real-life moms to hear what they’ve learned – and find out what will work for you!
Guests:
Nancy Mitchell – Mother of 8 y.o. Lauren and 4 y.o. Andrew
Beth Hite -- Mother of 6 y.o. Bobby, 4 y.o. Charlie and 17 month old Riley
Margaret Doyle – Mother of 10 y.o. Brian, 6 y.o. Matthew and 9 months old Kaitlin
Connie Carroll – Mother 11 y.o. Amanda and 6 y.o. Elizabeth
Jennifer Delia – Mother of 6 y.o. Georgia and 3 y.o. Ella
Elaine Fowler – Mother of 10 y.o. Rachiim, 6 y.o. Hasani and 2 y.o Kayla
Maggie & Earl DePass – Parents of 8 y.o. Ijang-Marie, 7 y.o. Beatrice, 5 y.o. Wilma and 2 y.o. Khadia
Kate Alicea – Mother of three, including 5 y.o. Ava
Lori Greene, PhD – Psychologist; Assistant Professor, Dept. of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Albert Einstein College of Medicine/Montefiore Medical Center; Attending Psychologist, Montefiore Medical Center
Jim Sears, MD – Pediatrician - Teaching Faculty, University of California at Davis School of Medicine; Co-Author, The Premature Baby Book and revised edition of The Baby Book
Featured expert on PBS parenting series, “Help Me Grow”
Steven Kurtz, PhD – Psychologist - Professor of Psychiatry, New York University School of Medicine; Clinical Coordinator, Institute for ADHD and Behavior Disorders, NYU Child Study Center; Diplomate Examiner, American Board of Behavioral Psychology; Member, Program Committee of the Child and School SIG of the Association for Advancement of Behavior Therapy
Tips:
Some Discipline Tips:
How to Handle Your Kids’ Backtalk: (Advice from Dr. Lori Greene)
The best way to extinguish backtalk – or any undesirable talking behavior – is to ignore, ignore, ignore, as though they never said it. Then you repeat your request. You outlast them with it. And if they escalate, you then remove them. For example: If a child says, "No!" You say, "I said, 'put your toys away.' " You ignore the behavior that you're trying to get rid of – the “no.” And if the behavior escalates, and you have to remove the child, then do it! If they keep doing the same thing, you keep outlasting them. That's how we usually recommend you handle backtalk.
The reason is this: If you treat backtalk as just an unacceptable behavior that you don’t respond to, it won't be reinforced in any way, with any attention. Even if the first couple of times you try it, they escalate their backtalk, over time they'll understand that it gets them nowhere. You also always want to “orient” them – that is, lay down the ground rules – by saying something like, “What I'm going to do if you speak to me that way is, I'm going to just ignore you. And I'm going to keep demanding that you do the thing that I said you needed to do.” And over time -- even though, again, the first couple times, it will probably escalate -- over time, it should extinguish the bad behavior..
Parent Child-Interaction Therapy
Some tips from Parent-Child Interaction Therapy: Techniques that are used in the early stages:
Giving effective commands:
Commands should be:
Resources:
NYU Child Study Center
http://www.aboutourkids.org/Parent-Child Interaction Therapy
http://www.pcit.org/AskDr.Sears.Com
http://www.askdrsears.com/
